One in five men die before the age of 65 according to the men’s health forum. That isn’t a comfortable fact for Father’s Day, but it resonates with me because mine died when he was 53. That’s also why I usually avoid Father’s Day, and why it’s taken until now to notice that Father’s Day comes at the end of International Men’s Health Awareness Week. I wanted to share a short blog today, because maybe there’s a message that men will be willing to hear on behalf of others if not themselves.

We’re currently trying to dismantle societal norms that expect men to be bread-winners, physically strong, never showing vulnerable emotion, etc. It’s an image that’s now often labelled ‘toxic masculinity’ in the effort to get rid of it and encourage men to open up and engage with, amongst others, the well-being agenda.

The full scale of the challenge around men’s health is set out on the men’s health forum website in their manifesto. They start with citing that same opening statistic about one in five men. Some people will say that’s only a 20% probability and dismiss it.

Imagine you’re a hard working professional for a moment. You’re a man. You earn a good salary that helps pay the bills and fund the lifestyle you want for your family. Your family might well be your core motivator for everything you do. You’re in a great place, taking on a lot of responsibility, and you’re able to afford evenings out with friends or the family. If you have kids, you can take them to clubs and make time to see them compete or perform. Sometimes you work a bit when you get home, after everyone’s in bed, because it keeps you on top of everything. Other nights you go out for drinks with colleagues or business contacts – you have a great network and that’s half of why you’re able to be as good as you are. Inside the next year, you’re looking at your next promotion opportunity – in fact, one in five of your peers will get promoted.

I’ll go out on a limb and guess that you’ll be more favourable about your chance of being in the 20% to get promoted than the 20% to die before you’re 65. But if you’re the person that I just described, there’s a chance you’re having less sleep, more stress, less exercise, and more unhealthy food and drink than is recommended. It’s why many employers, mine included, are investing a lot of time in pushing messages about well-being – from apps to support good sleep and meditation, to encouraging fitness challenges and sensible nutrition. It’s just hit and miss how often men engage more broadly than just the fitness challenges.

Now full disclosure, I believe that my Dad’s illness was unavoidable. We still don’t fully understand how and why Alzheimer’s works as it does (and for those who haven’t read previous entries, he was an exceptionally early and a-typical age for diagnosis and death so don’t panic). But, as the daughter who doesn’t get to celebrate Father’s Day, I’m telling all the fathers reading this that if we’d known all the things that might have bought more time, that is what I’d have wanted him to prioritise. And if you’ve attended any of those sessions about the value of sleep, nutrition and other well-being activities, you’ll realise it’s actually also likely to be good for your career prospects as you’ll be more effective.

So please take a moment this Father’s Day and recognise that your loved ones are celebrating your presence in their lives. Then reflect on whether you’re living a healthy life today, so that you will still be a presence in their lives for as long as possible.

I hope those of you celebrating had a good day, and my thoughts are with those remembering, hoping that you are comforted by fond memories.

Thank you for reading.