I’ve been thinking recently about “ikigai” and its definition of “the happiness of a busy life”. This concept has been butting up against points articulated in an article by Anne Helen Petersen from January 2019 on “How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation” – she reflects on the impact of the requirement to be constantly productive and decision-paralysis in the face of too much choice. I’ve also been dwelling on the near universally held belief that being ‘busy’ is a bad thing – the new ‘fine’ for mental health purposes. And then a fourth concept – the impact of the different emotional responses we have when we undertake activity truly aligned to our values.

The sum total of this is wondering whether, under the banner of ikigai, we could reclaim ‘busy’ as a good thing? My hypothesis: busy can be energising and rejuvenating, not simply a badge of honour about our level of victim-hood to duties.

I have to start by admitting to being a millennial. It’s a label I’ve always strongly resisted because it brings with it stereotypes of spoilt and entitled children. Yet I found a great deal resonated with me when I read Petersen’s article, from failure to successfully return clothes that didn’t fit because of the effort of the post office, to a deep held belief that working hard enough means it’s always possible to ‘win’. (I have a whole article about the value of competitiveness that I’ve been sitting on for a while and am now even more conflicted about sharing.)

Exactly a year ago to the time of first writing this entry out in hard-copy, my burnout had reached the point where everything felt impossible. I recognised, upon prompting, that not only was I depressed, but I needed help to overcome it.

My journey back to feeling engaged and enthused has not been smooth, but one key part – the reason for launching the blog and website – was the pursuit of ikigai as a happy, purposeful life involving creativity and learning. I think I referenced the idea of a ‘busy life’ in that launch process, but it was a little like a bad smell that I was hoping to waft away. After months of being exhausted by depression, I did not want to be ‘busy’. Wasn’t self-care about rest and peace? Wasn’t meditation and the ability to be still what I needed to counteract the hyperactivity of my anxiety?

Petersen’s article decries a lot of my favourite mental health coping mechanisms as ‘life hacks’ that can’t combat burnout and are just designed to optimise employees for exploitation. I think that’s quite a cynical point of view but, even if it’s accepted, the techniques still help. There’s one exhausting truth that isn’t addressed though, and it’s where my reflections have brought me.

First, I need to make a second admission: I can be a bit of a workaholic. As a single, over-achieving millennial, work as my raison d’être makes me almost the definition of the millennial stereotype. It’s also a real pain when you’re trying to get well-being strategies in place and your therapist asks questions like ‘what do you like to do just for fun?’

Even now, feeling so much better, I still struggle to quickly identify things I do for the pure joy of having done them. Singing and dancing around the house may be one. Creativity is certainly something I enjoy though, as with this blog, I tend to tag on a bit of a purpose to it.

But to the exhausting truth I hit on.

It starts with the context that a couple of months ago I changed team. My new home so far promises a lot, with greater opportunity for me to be creative and me finding I have more energy to put into my work. It’s a wonderful ikigai circle. But, as noted above, this poses some risk given my workaholic tendencies. Gradually I got busier both professionally and personally (all Covid compliant!). I was tired enough to sleep well and I felt buoyed by what I was doing. I was a little worried though. After the year I’d been through, was I going to over-commit? Did I need more down-time?

I concluded I would employ self-care in the form of a weekend predominantly in front of the TV ‘relaxing’. It was easy to do because I was tired from work and the short, dark days. Yet I ended up feeling more tired and less energised. A repeat didn’t help.

Last weekend I was semi-forced to get busy. A sudden delivery due-date accelerated timelines for painting skirting boards and ordering carpet. I had a call with a friend, an evening with my sister as my household bubble, a family walk in the park, two murder mysteries to plan and distribute information for, various household chores and time required to focus on my language lessons. By the end of the weekend, I was physically tired but also satisfied and feeling a sense of achievement. I sat and watched a show on Sunday and that was enough of a real ‘rest’. I found myself reflecting on a recent work webcast talking about the ideas of activities that carry you towards your goals and activities that carry you away from them.

That was when I had my exhausting realisation: the balance to ‘busy’ work was a ‘busy’ life, and the two, combined with appropriate rest periods, were actually far more valuable to my well-being in carrying me towards my goals. Particularly when you reflect that a ‘busy’ weekend might mean plans to read a book or watch a movie combined with other things that we’d deem self-care. This, I think, is the ‘happiness of a busy life’ – one that is full of plans and activities, alone or with others, purposeful or pure joy and relaxation.

The reason this is exhausting is good old decision-paralysis. Sometimes it’s just tiring to have to make lots of plans. This is especially true if you’re already feeling low energy because of our current circumstance. I can foresee now that choice and decision fatigue are going to mean I don’t always succeed in being ‘busy’ with life outside work, but I wanted to reflect and capture how good ‘busy’ can feel when it’s the right kind. I hope it can be my motivation to keep making more plans that will ultimately leave me feeling better, with a fuller life.

I want to end with this thought: every single person will have a unique version of busy that matches their needs, mixing periods of rest and recovery with whatever other efforts they need to make to achieve their goals. A quick google for definitions tells me that ‘busy’ can mean industrious, diligent, actively engaged or occupied. Let’s use it to mean those things and use ‘overloaded’ when we actually mean that we need help. I don’t think any of us would argue with the concept of happiness from an ‘actively engaged’ life. It’s what I’ll be pursuing.